Vivid Dream

I had a fairly vivid dream wake me this morning.

I was travelling out west. I awoke in a hotel bed, and went down a hallway into an elevator. When the elevator opened, Azmat and Borat were inside. The let out a cheer singing “PALIN! PALIN! Wait minute. You fat red head. You not Palin!?!”

So I played along.

“Oh my gosh! BORAT! I LOVE YOUR SHOW!”

“You know my show? What favorite episode?”

“I know of your show. Maybe the episode where you try to find Pam Anderson.”

Borat growls. “She SLUT!”


“Point good. Where is Sarah Palin?”


At this point, we’re walking down a hallway towards the continental breakfast.

“She Goddess, isn’t she?”

“No, she’s really really REALLY dumb. She’s a square peg repeatedly pounding itself into a round hole. Sorry, but she’s not representative of Americans. The woman is dumb. I mean… imagine the dullest knife in the drawer and you have a nice big steak on the table.”

“What is steak?”


“Gross! But you mock Sarah! WE POUND YOU GROUND!”

Now we’re in front of a buffet and they’ve suddenly become naked and start slam dancing against everyone in line. An old lady screams “RAAAAAAAAAPE!” and the cops with cowboy hats, rope and show up with a pair of shears. The rope Azmat down, shaves his ass bald (think “Bart the Bear” in “Great Outdoors”) someone comes up with a brand shaped like a P and brands the baldspot with it. Borat screeches and tries to wiggle out “I LOVE YOU, SARAH PALIN!” and suddenly, a wild Sarah Palin appears.

It wanders around, picking at loose edges in the wallpaper, sniffs Borat and smiles. “You smell like beer poop” and then laughs like Butthead.

Then it looks at me and says “You round hole. Me square peg.”

I then woke screaming.

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