Presidential Gauntlet

Fear not. The Presidential Campaign is cancelled.

Instead of an election, John McCain and Barack Obama will both send their proxy to appear on ABC’s Wipeout, with the winner taking the election.

Think that sounds stupid? It’s about as  valid of a means of electing a President as the current election is bound to be. You see… there are no issues. There are no facts. All issues and facts are malleable, and can be pounded out, cast in form, and shined up to cast the best light on either candidate. In my opinion, there’s no purpose in following the issues. You will learn NOTHING about either candidate by following the “issues”.

Instead, measure the character of the man.

When you do this, McCain is sorely lacking. Here’s why:

1. Keating Five
If you don’t know what this is, even Wikipedia gets it essentially correct:

McCain played a part in costing the nation $160 BILLION (with a CAPTITAL B) in the late 1970’s and early 1980s. Nice to forget that, eh?

Kuato = McCain?2. Kuato
Don’t know what Kuato is? Go watch Total Recall. In any case, Kuato was a mutant siamese twin, melded into the stomach of his “brother”.

Watch footage of McCain. When a camera is present, he ALWAYS looks to the right. Why? He’s hiding the growth and scars on his face.

WHY? Is this McCain’s indictment of the American public? That we’re all so very shallow that we would judge the man not by the content of his character, but by the size of his lymph nodes? Is he afraid we’ll stare at the scars on  his face instead of thinking about whether or not he’s fit to run the country? I’m afraid that’s the way I’m reading it. It’s the body language of a man who doesn’t trust the people he serves to makes the right decisions. We already have a president who treats us like spoiled Rottweilers, ready to bite the hand that feeds it just because. We don’t need another one of those, do we?

3. McCain isn’t a natural US citizen.
McCain wasn’t born in the United States.
Born August 29, 1936 (1936-08-29) (age 71)
Coco Solo Naval Air Station, Panama Canal Zone

The Constitution clearly states that you MUST be a NATURAL BORN CITIZEN to be elected president of the US. See: Section 1 of Article II of the Constitution contains the clause:
“ No Person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

Sure, there’s legal argument saying that it’s unfair to say that children of soldiers overseas should be considered full US citizens, and not “penalized” for being born overseas, but that argument isn’t articulated anywhere in the Constitution nor Bill of Rights… nor in any standing legal precedent.

If you allow McCain to be elected… next thing you know: President Arnold Schwarzenegger and his running mate, Vice President Jim Belushi. Maybe Bin Laden can show up and run for President… his qualifications are about the same as Dubbya’s are at this point.

Due to this obvious weakness in his character and questionable validity of citizenship, McCain gives me no choice but to support Barack Obama.

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