I hate my ears. Seriously hate them.

So, this week, I got sick on Monday. It only lasted a few hours, and i felt better.

I worked Tuesday, and worked a gangbuster 10.5 hrs on Wednesday with almost nothing to eat. On Wednesday evening, I was going to head to the bar at 9pm with my lady, and before that, I took my dad out to dinner for Prime Rib at Paige’s (only $7.50 on Wednesday).

We sit down, we order. It’s loud in the there. I’m talking to my dad and all of a sudden… the whole damn world loses perspective and starts to swirl, like chocolate syrup in a large cup of vanilla ice cream.

I break out in a massive sweat. Within minutes, I’ve sweat through my shirt. Ugh. I’m so damn sick to my head, my stomach… and still hungry. I try to eat some, but I get through half of it. I tell my dad we gotta get outta here ASAP.

We head home, and i get in the house as quickly as I can, and distance hurl just barely making it to the toilet. I spend the next 45 minutes heaving my guts out.

Then I go to sleep from 8pm to 12am. I miss my date with my lady. I hate that.

I go into work the next day. The world is still unsteady and my stomach feels completely wrong, like it’s tumbling down into itself. So I leave at 11am, which means I missed an important meeting. Alas.

I get to the Dr office at 11:30am and they see me. I speak with a nurse, give her my symptoms… then I see a Doctor (not my regular doctor). They tell me it sounds like Stomach Flu. So I’ll treat it as stomach flu…

Well, Saturday morning, I decided to turn my hearing aids on… the tinnitus starts.

That’s when it hits me:

The WAVES of tinnitus exactly match the waves of nausea. I don’t think it started in my stomach. It started in my head. My brain is overwhelmed with the tinnitus, which brought of massive vertigo.

That’s it, folks. I. Am. Deaf.

Not hard of hearing.

I. Am. Deaf.

I cannot use my hearing aids anymore.

I need to get an appointment with an ENT that won’t throw me out the door. We’ll try that on Monday. And hopefully they have some answers for me.

I need to find someone to tutor me in Sign Language.

Serious. Tutor.

I’m scared.

Will my family still love me?

Will my workplace still work with me?

Will my loved ones get pissed off because I can’t hear them?

Will my nephew understand why Uncle Mike hardly ever responds to what he says? Will he understand?

My ears are broken, not my heart.

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