MC Spoo http://mcspoo.com Technical Brilliance? Sun, 22 May 2016 18:17:23 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Blown Up http://mcspoo.com/2016/05/22/blown-up/ http://mcspoo.com/2016/05/22/blown-up/#respond Sun, 22 May 2016 18:17:23 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=907 I’m afraid I’ve gone too far again. I’m feeling very blown up right now. I’m working on Sunday afternoon, because someone has to. The person scheduled basically “forgot” they had a trip, and then while I’m at desk on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I see a picture with them on the other side of the state basking in the sun.… Read more →

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I’m afraid I’ve gone too far again. I’m feeling very blown up right now.

I’m working on Sunday afternoon, because someone has to. The person scheduled basically “forgot” they had a trip, and then while I’m at desk on this beautiful Sunday afternoon, I see a picture with them on the other side of the state basking in the sun. He’s a kid, so I understand it. But the “boss” in me is basically a bit peeved. How do I drive home the message of “pay attention your schedule” without sounding like a jerk? I’m trying.

I just spoke at a conference last week. It was nice, but I was the weakest part of a four part presentation. I hit the wrong button, skipped forward and lost my place. Several points I wanted to make were skipped. Alas. It was a good presentation, and an excellent team. I love that I have the professional integrity and sway to arrange a 45 minute discussion about why video games in libraries are GOOD. No matter how old I get (and this is relevant because of what follows), I’ll never stop being the kid who geeked out to the maximum level of geek out when Dad brought home an Atari 2600 and said “we have to go to Toys R Us and get Space Invaders now”.

I’m an old-ish man now. I’m a penitent man. I recognize my smallness in the world, and I’m a dedicated man. I also recognize that I’m compensating. I work way too much, because hey, what the hell else am I supposed to do? I have no family to take care of. I’ve spent the last 10 years taking care of my mom and dad. Now that they’re gone, I’m still feeling lost. I’m good at taking care of other people: not so good at taking care of me. I eat too much. I eat decent meals, it’s just I have this terrible habit of eating, say, an entire bag of chips in a single sitting. And not a snack bag either: like a full stack of Pringles.

I gave up on the gym because the trainer was an obnoxious jack ass. I’m still paying for it, trying to convince myself to go back, but so far I’m failing because I work too much. It’s hugely expensive, so I better go back sooner than later. Plus, I’m fat and closing in on 45 years old. If I have any expectation of retiring in any way that doesn’t involve “you have to retire because your body can’t take it”, I have to take care of myself.

I work too much is my excuse. I don’t like this excuse and it pisses me off. I want to work on MYSELF too. I want to hang out with my family and friends. The only thing I do for myself lately is work on my yard.

I LOVE mowing the lawn. I LOVE having a garden, in tribute to my grandpa, and with the expectation I can harvest spicy peppers and make hot sauce.

I really wish I didn’t come home to an empty house. I come home and I’m stressed, my mind is blank, and any desire to be “healthy” goes out the door because “pizza, pop and chips make you feel better.”

I’m going to have the place re-roofed and install internal AC soon as well. That’s my “investment” and I hope it’s a good one. I worry if it is because my neighbor is proving to be problematic. I suspect they’re selling drugs or something, as it’s often treated like a 7-11 with people parking (sometimes on my front lawn), going inside, and coming out 5 minutes later during all hours of night. There’s often loud, massively throbbing music even at late hours of night. I feel like I’m falling into a “old man” routine of feeling pissed off because of it, and feeling powerless to do anything about it. I asked the guy if I could pay to have the poison ivy removed from his side of the fence. He told me flat out “No, I have to protect my family”. WTF? I did research on police calls on the street and there’s been multiples so… I hope I’m not pissing my money away.

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The Ends of Zorg http://mcspoo.com/2016/04/08/the-ends-of-zorg/ http://mcspoo.com/2016/04/08/the-ends-of-zorg/#respond Fri, 08 Apr 2016 20:36:24 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=902 (Preface: This is a poem I wrote a very long time ago, and for reasons unknown the majority or it suddenly  burst forth through my frontal lobe like the Koolaid Man today as I thought “Hey, it’s poetry month”. So I’ll see what I can remember and redo from my historical cache of “poetry” but this one is obviously song… Read more →

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(Preface: This is a poem I wrote a very long time ago, and for reasons unknown the majority or it suddenly  burst forth through my frontal lobe like the Koolaid Man today as I thought “Hey, it’s poetry month”. So I’ll see what I can remember and redo from my historical cache of “poetry” but this one is obviously song lyrics without music or rhyme. The point of view seems skewed, but it’s purposeful.)

 

I don’t know why they’d try to say
there’s nothing left to be
say goodbye now to the world
turn about and walk
to the ends of the earth
keep on going and going and going
till you fall

As you fall look at us all
we’re not waving goodbye

Just a speck in the dark now
why are you breathing
shouldn’t you be dying
instead of still falling
tumbling onwards
your bearings fade away
and you can’t tell from where
you’ve been falling

As you look around for us
you’re not finding anyone

You scream outloud
but there’s no one around
and sound doesn’t travel
in the absense of air
so your wide open mouth
swallows nothing but the cosmic rays
spurting out from all the stars
that don’t care who you are

As you look around for anyone
you realize this could be fun

I’m a satellite in space
hurtling through the cosmos
if I’m lucky gravity takes hold
and sucks me down until
I burn up in the atmosphere
the first time I’ve felt warmth in years
My skin flakes off and my lips melt away
but my smile’s a star shining

As I look around
I can see the ground

Never seen ground like that before
it’s coming up faster than I can hear
the screams from below
it sounds just like the ones I left
behind so long ago
go away go away
they catch my body falling
and take me to the ends of Zorg
and throw me out some more

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Innocence Fades http://mcspoo.com/2015/12/14/innocence-fades/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/12/14/innocence-fades/#respond Tue, 15 Dec 2015 02:36:50 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=890 Bright and shiny hard and cold twinkling lights hidden in cloudy skies and so far away the naked eye cannot discern the shape of all to be but there it is always coming perception is the flavor sweet or sour good or bad placid or evil life is what you taste it until the end always bitter and unfinished We… Read more →

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Bright and shiny
hard and cold
twinkling lights hidden
in cloudy skies
and so far away
the naked eye
cannot discern
the shape of all to be

but there it is
always coming
perception is the flavor
sweet or sour
good or bad
placid or evil
life is what you taste it
until the end
always bitter and unfinished

We script it as if
it was the time
we say it’s mysterious
and without rhyme
but we know
retrospecively
childhood is the best
place and time to be

there’s a journey
and there’s an end
it’s just a sin
gone in the wind
swirling onwards
without your
consideration
melodramatically

innocence fades from being
soon there will be
nothing left of me
smile and stand
get up and play
take a walk
or two with me
just hold my hand
and sway in the breeze
let us be let us see
let it all be

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Life is just a Game http://mcspoo.com/2015/12/08/life-is-just-a-game/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/12/08/life-is-just-a-game/#respond Tue, 08 Dec 2015 05:11:46 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=887 I’m trying to say something intelligent but all that comes out a drizzling spout a turgid dreams dribbling down my chin into a puddle on my shirt that says Life is just a Game Magic books that guide their lives special men who bring the light a zombie risen from the grave or resurrection lay the blame the stories told… Read more →

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I’m trying to say something intelligent
but all that comes out
a drizzling spout
a turgid dreams dribbling down
my chin into a puddle
on my shirt that says
Life is just a Game

Magic books that guide their lives
special men who bring the light
a zombie risen from the grave
or resurrection lay the blame
the stories told by different men
from the same root of venegeance
Life is just a Game

Pray your God, a bill of green
count your blessings as monetary
and not as most are suffering
Hungry and ill destitute but still
a Ferarri makes you forget
erasure of entire race
Life just a Game

Roll the dice, improve your odds
with prayer or science or just desire
Go to work, shut your mouth
someone richer than you will shout
your way is not to start again by go
back below the troll disgraced
Life just a Game

The moment is awful and suffering
completely made up by experience
there’s worse things that soggy cheerios
there’s worse things than traffic on the road
there’s worse things that things that explode
Life is just a Game

We’re all doomed to play
that horrible moment when we were birth
forced to play a game
born to a world that doesn’t care
about anything but the next square
Life is just a Game

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Turkey Sausage Stuffing with Sage and Rosemary http://mcspoo.com/2015/12/03/turkey-sausage-stuffing-with-sage-and-rosemary/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/12/03/turkey-sausage-stuffing-with-sage-and-rosemary/#respond Fri, 04 Dec 2015 02:02:13 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=885 Super duper moist and tasty dressing. This recipe will make a *LOT* of dressing. You will need all of the following ingredients: 2 Loafs of Sourdough Bread 3 Turkey Sausages, removed from casing. Fresh Mushrooms, chopped up to equal about half to 3/4 a cup 4 to 5 springs of fresh Rosemary 4 to 5 sprigs of Fresh Safe 3… Read more →

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Super duper moist and tasty dressing. This recipe will make a *LOT* of dressing.

You will need all of the following ingredients:

2 Loafs of Sourdough Bread
3 Turkey Sausages, removed from casing.
Fresh Mushrooms, chopped up to equal about half to 3/4 a cup
4 to 5 springs of fresh Rosemary
4 to 5 sprigs of Fresh Safe
3 of 4 sprigs of fresh Parsley (dried will work too)
48 oz of Turkey OR Chicken stock
2 Tablespoons of “Better than Bouillon Chicken Base”
6 Stalks of Celery, diced
1 medium onion, diced
Salt and Pepper to taste
Olive Oil
Bacon Crumbles (made yourself, or use from salad sprinkles, REAL)

 

4 to 5 days before Cooking…
Dice all your bread up and let it dry/go stale

Day of cooking:
Chop up ALL of your fresh herbs. By hand or in a mixer.

In a soup pot, add some olive oil.
Add the onions, mushrooms and Celery to the olive oil.
Cook at medium heat until translucent
Now add the turkey sausage, broken up, to the pot
Break the sausage up into small/fine pieces while it cooks.
When the turkey is cooked, add the chopped fresh herbs to the mixture.
Stir to mix with vegetables. Allow this mixture to cook for another few minutes at low heat.

Once everything is cooked down, add in the turkey OR chicken stock
plus 1 tablespoon of the chicken boullion/base

Turn heat up to high until it boils, then back down to medium heat so it simmers for no more than 10 minutes.

Allow the mixture to cool for up to 20 minutes. It does not ave to be COLD to go to the next step. Works best if it remains at least “momma bear, just right” hot.

In a VERY large bowl, you should have all of your stale bread.

Using a soup ladle, move the mixture one ladle at a time into the big bowl of stale bread until all of the mixture is in the bowl.

Use a potato masher to combine the mixture with the bread. The result should NOT be soupy, but rather goopy, like thick chunky yogurt.

In a baking pan (or two), spray the pans down with Pam or non-stick spray.
Add the stuffing mixture to the pans.
Put the pans into  the oven at 350 degrees for approximately 30 to 45 minutes.
Use a thermometer (whatever your have. I used a meat thermometer) to ensure the stuffing is about 165 degrees.

Voila. This stuffing rocks.

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The Way I Feel http://mcspoo.com/2015/11/16/the-way-i-feel/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/11/16/the-way-i-feel/#respond Tue, 17 Nov 2015 00:38:57 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=882 I used to think it was all clean colored inside the lines in easily identified hues and shades I think we’d all like to believe still a child can we be as adults with responsibilities but only a fool dares such things I’d rather go outside and play than sit here and stare at this screen I’d rather run around… Read more →

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I used to think it was all clean
colored inside the lines
in easily identified
hues and shades

I think we’d all like to believe
still a child can we be
as adults with responsibilities
but only a fool dares such things

I’d rather go outside and play
than sit here and stare at this screen
I’d rather run around screaming
but I’d be committed as insane

Yet nothing could be more right to me
than walking away from all these things
cause I recognize
it’s crazy to work all the time

I might be good at what I do
but it’s breaking my heart
making me spend my time
so far away from you

The only way I’d be happy
is I could walk away from all these things
and I could walk a long long way
down a long long highway

and I could walk up that road
and I could knock upon your door
and I could smile and say hello
and I could lay my head on your shoulder

and we could dance like we’re meant to dance
and we could play outside today
and forget all this responsibility
just be ourselves for one more day

I used to think it was all so clean
but reality is so messy
mostly outside the lines
without reason or rhyme

and all the things I wish we could be
are complicated and painful to see
cause reality is responsibility
and we’ll never grow up to be

everything we wanted to be
look at me I still can’t sing
or dance worth a lick
I can’t throw a ball 100 miles an hour

and you can’t let yourself
be in love with me
cause you got complications
you got responsibilities

and I love those things
I love the way you fight
and I love the way you don’t give up
and I can’t stop the way I feel

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Land Side Mortal http://mcspoo.com/2015/10/10/land-side-mortal/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/10/10/land-side-mortal/#respond Sat, 10 Oct 2015 12:08:36 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=878 Don’t ask me to stay normal cause the sky was made of the land side mortal and we shall not speak of the demons we breach when the morning sun rise They dance as if to rain they pray as if no pain they’re fools of the vain The rhythm of reality bangs the shiny drums of the day and… Read more →

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Don’t ask me to stay normal
cause the sky was made
of the land side mortal

and we shall not speak
of the demons we breach
when the morning sun rise
They dance as if to rain
they pray as if no pain
they’re fools of the vain

The rhythm of reality
bangs the shiny drums of the day
and silences for the night sky

An aurora is a mistake
when she forgets to sleep
and stays awake

but what pretty lady
she is when her mind is free
she speaks what she wants to speak

Don’t ask me to be normal
cause the sky was made
for the land side mortal

I’ll never be the one who says
the end is a just sentence
no story ends it’s just written

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Never spoke the Words http://mcspoo.com/2015/06/30/never-spoke-the-word/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/06/30/never-spoke-the-word/#respond Tue, 30 Jun 2015 04:33:57 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=869 …and the darkness reigned supreme from the moment man dared to dream Hell isn’t something you reach when blessed sleep comes to being Hell is every single day on this rotten ball of clay …and the darkness sang of his praise in sarcastically worded phrase Go ahead and struggle for the light bitch and whine about your plight the more… Read more →

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…and the darkness reigned supreme
from the moment man dared to dream
Hell isn’t something you reach
when blessed sleep comes to being
Hell is every single day
on this rotten ball of clay

…and the darkness sang of his praise
in sarcastically worded phrase
Go ahead and struggle for the light
bitch and whine about your plight
the more you squirm the deeper the worm

…and the darkness made them all afraid
in chaos they scrambled for the sky
broke all their hearts when they find
they’re not all birds just humans who die
watch the angels fly away into his embrace

…and the darkness reigned forever in his mind
cause he believed in a great man in the sky
because there’s nothing left to acheive
when no longer breath can you breathe
finally now you are complete

…and the darkness brought trepidation
doubt and fear embedded in those held dear
the rest of their lives wondering why
a great big man in the sky can decide
now it’s time to join his side

…and the darkness of the passing life
forgiven with a single word heard from
the final breath from his end of days
whispering of his praise he goes onward
to wait for all of us to come home

…and the stars they shine out from the
pitch black of night when you see
your loved ones come running
we missed you so don’t look back
don’t see them cry don’t see them crack

…and the clouds obscure the sight of hurt
but light years can’t separate the songs
they sing in the dark by themselves the cries
ring from all sides of this infinite verse of rhyme
and they know even when you never spoke the words

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Than Words can Dare http://mcspoo.com/2015/06/21/than-words-can-dare/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/06/21/than-words-can-dare/#respond Mon, 22 Jun 2015 03:10:28 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=866 Nothing is left for me to say all the pain laid bare with more than words can dare I’ll honor you for the rest of these days let me be all you dreamed for me I’ll fall down I’ll fall short I’ll get back up I’ll brush off the dirt and I’ll stand again the way you taught me to… Read more →

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Nothing is left for me to say
all the pain laid bare
with more than words can dare

I’ll honor you for the rest of these days
let me be all you dreamed for me

I’ll fall down
I’ll fall short
I’ll get back up
I’ll brush off the dirt

and I’ll stand again
the way you taught me to

Let me shine
let me define
Let me rise
let this be all

Nothing is left for me to say
all the pain laid bare
with more than words can dare

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Cochlear Fancy http://mcspoo.com/2015/06/06/cochlear-fancy/ http://mcspoo.com/2015/06/06/cochlear-fancy/#respond Sat, 06 Jun 2015 04:20:53 +0000 http://mcspoo.com/?p=863 Well, I’ve worn this cochlear now for almost 3 years. If I can be perfectly blunt, and this is not a sales pitch but… it’s changed my life something legit. I am capable of carrying on conversations with strangers. Sure, to most people, that’s like “so what?” To me, that’s like “holy farking she-at!” I’m in the process of buying… Read more →

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Well, I’ve worn this cochlear now for almost 3 years.

If I can be perfectly blunt, and this is not a sales pitch but… it’s changed my life something legit.

I am capable of carrying on conversations with strangers.

Sure, to most people, that’s like “so what?”

To me, that’s like “holy farking she-at!”

I’m in the process of buying a new house. In fact, I bought it today. It has required that I interface with a variety of people whom I’ve never met before, or who I haven’t met in a long time.

The experience has been delightful. I met the previous owners of the house I bought, and it was a pleasant experience, not a dreaded experience. I met the guy who put my mortgage together, and we had a nice talk outside the closing. Wonderfully nice guy who’s sister works with deaf and blind folks. I met with the lady who’s buying my condo, and her agent.

The important part is that none of this has been intimidating. That’s the part I think most “normals” don’t get: that engaging in conversations, especially VERY. IMPORTANT. CONVERSATIONS. like buying a new house.. they’re not overtly intimidating anymore.

It’s flipping wonderful.

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