Bald Guy – A Parody of “bad guy”

No shirt, and red my muddy toes
Sleeping, you’re smooth to my pillow
Creeping, around like no one knows
Think you’re subliminal
Bruises, my eye brows reduced
Don’t look, or say that you do
I spray when I’m wanting to
My toupee? Don’t be cynical

So you’re a bald guy
like it really full guy
can’t rogaine enough guy
chest always so fluffed guy
I’m that bald type
make your stomach burn bright
make your girlfriend’s stage fright
might glue my toupee tight
I’m the bald guy…DUH

I like it when the glue takes hold
even if you know it’s fake
lust in its majestic bouffant
almost as if animal
My mommy likes to play along
but she won’t play for long
if she sees the glue give way
she’ll pretend she don’t know

so you’re a bald guy
like it really full guy
can’t rogaine enough guy
chest always so fluffed guy
I’m that bald type
make your stomach burn bright
make your girlfriends stage fright
might glue my toupee tight
I’m the bald guy… DUH

I like it when you get mad
I guess you say it’s pretty fake
and you’re afraid of me?
I mean, I don’t see what you see
but maybe it’s this luxurious mane you seek

I’m only good at being bald, bald

apologies to Billie Eilish…

 

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