MC Spoo


"Hi there, I'd like to check out the Internet."

Me: "Well, we have public internet computers downstairs"

"No, you don't get it. I want to check OUT the Internet."

Me <scratches beard in deep thought>

Me: "Alright, follow me."

<leads patron to door>

Me: "There's the Internet. It's everything. It's everywhere. It's not a book. It's not a DVD. It's everything in the world, but in electronic format."

<person looks confused.>

Me: "You connect to the Internet with a computer that has a network connection."

"But... they told me I could get the Internets at the Library!"

Me: "You can. Let me show you..."

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A simple statement

I search deep in my soul for the former demon or angel that made me believe I was a creative genius.

I beg that sweet bastard to come out and play. I stare inward, only the whites of my eyes visible to the crowd around me. I barely hear the rumble of
their collective discontent. Stray words from the outside world stumble unto the implant on the right side of my head.
"Drugs?" "Dead?" "Asshole?" "Ambulance?"

I rise from my stupor, hands raise in a V... and I speak loudly, with a firm vibrance to my tenor.

" Fine."

"To see you, I do not. To hear you, I do not. To understand you, I do not. What use is a man's understanding, if he cannot understand himself? These are not the droids you're looking for. Move along, citizen... move along..."

The rumbling continues. Hands grab me. The sweeter tone of the fairer sex echoes loudly.

"You poor man! Let us help you!"

I shrug my shoulders, and gyrate wildly about. A dervish of escapist whim. Flailing untowards the night, with my eyes closed, and my ears turned off...

I'm more aware of who I am the government that seeks to control me.

Even as I fail in my creativity, this aborted fetus of a rant... I am more capable in this broken ability of mine than the government is in itself.

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The Last Lonely One

I'm the last one.

The last of a huge family, the last who hasn't gotten married. Everyone else: married.

I'm the last one without kids. The last one who hasn't even been engaged.

How should I feel about this?

I'm the last lonely one. The legacy that will never extend.

Not by choice. Most definitely not. It's just the way God wants it.

I'm supposed to say "hey, What God Wants... God Gets.'

I'm supposed to pray "help me, help myself"

so... maybe he'll list to my blog.

Whatever. I've become too numb, because if I left myself feel this any more than the typing of these words, I'm not sure I'll want to do anything else but curl up in a fetal ball and stare at the base boards in the bathroom.

I'm so happy for everyone.

and so sad for myself. and I feel guilty for having that selfish thought... that I'd like something for myself. Someone to share this life with. I feel GUILTY for wanting it, and guilty for not having it.

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Fully Randomized Caterwauling

very little of anything is making much sense these days... I'm struggling right now with both the mental and physical phases.

a. My left leg keeps fighting me. i keep trying to be more physical, but bugs keep cropping up. Right now, my ankle feels stiff and fragile. and my back feels like I slipped a disc. I'm starting to feel like Bruce Willis: I'm too old for this shit.

I need to lose weight, but it's like my body doesn't want me to. everytime i do something even vaguely athletic, like walking a mile, i have to wait a week or 2 before picking it up again... I should go to my doctor, but...

b. I'm having issues with Doctor offices. Why is is just so difficult for a doctor office to contact me in a way that WORKS? A phone call is NOT an honest attempt to contact a deaf person. I'm sorry, but it's NOT. I don't care what the law says: the law has no idea what it's like to be deaf, nor does it care.

I don't trust my doctor now. They cancelled an appointment and never told me. No email. No call to my dad. NOTHING. Plus, my Doctor was horribly rude to my friends, who were also his patients... I'm not sure i want to work with him anymore.

I don't trust the Sleep Center either. They scheduled an appointment and never told me. They didn't contact me: they contacted my dad: less than 12 hours before the appointment. They asked me to schedule another appointment... well, why would I? You schedule shit on  your own. Why don't you schedule it and not tell me then bitch about it to me in snail mail again because I don't show up again? Jackasses....

I think I need new doctors. I need new doctors who fully understand that a deaf person can't use a telephone. Use email, use snail mail... just contact me. It's not that hard, really.

c. Life is change. The more everything changes, the more it stays the same. There is way too much change going on right now. I feel so off center. Everyone is leaving me. Maybe it's selfish to have that thought, but I'm having it.

Friends leaving. Employees going on to bigger and better things. Family friends passing.

It's not me this year... it's everyone else.

d. I miss my friends. I miss hanging out with steve and ruth and wendy and sal and howard... I miss hanging out with charlie and toni, lucas, bella and jack... I miss feeling like part of the group.

I'm so tired of being alone. I don't want to live alone anymore. i don't want to wake up alone anymore.


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Ford C-Max: A Review

Last year, just before Thanksgiving, I ordered a brand spankin new Ford C-Max Hybrid. Fresh outta the gate, it's offering 47 mpg, city AND highway, with 47mpg combined.

I test drove a Chevy Sonic (loved it), a Hyundai Elantra (looks great, interior great, but powered by an anemic hamster with COPD), a Ford Focus (drives great, but cramped inside), and a Ford Fusion (AWE-SOME car)... and Ford C-Max Hybrid.

The C-Max wowed me the most. The promise of gas mileage, an engaging ride, a really nice interior, plenty of room, and what I think are just totally unique looks. The Ford Sync as well. I considered the Sync Touch, but it's not worth the extra $2,000.

So I ordered mine on Nov 19, 2012. I was told 4 weeks to ship, so I should have gotten it just before Christmas... alas, no.

It didn't ship till 2 days after Valentine's Day in 2013. I ordered it in such a combination, no one else had one like me. So it had to be made from scratch, just down the road in Wayne. That's cool. I'm sorry if you don't understand that part, but to me, the idea that this car was built just 10 minutes down I-275 from me is just cool.

Mine's blue. Like really, really blue. The interior is light great and dark grey/not quite black. It is quite fetching, with a strong, yet comfortable fiber. The seats are mushy, but stiff, and possibly a wee bit too short for my long legs, but still quite functional. Every surface I can reach from the driver's seat is soft touch, except a faux chrome over the stereo bits.

Sync has a bit of a "bad" reputation, and I can see where it comes from. It requires you already have some manner of digital comprehension. You know how to use Windows, and an iPod or Android. The concepts are the same. if you understand these things, then Sync makes sense. if you don't, then Sync is intimidating and foreign. That's all. For me, it works perfectly. No real issues. My phone connected lickity split. It understands my voice, and the keys are easy to use, really. They just didn't design it for those without basic digital literacy.

The ride quality is excellent. I prefer it greatly. It's smooth, sharp, and only has a mild roll. The tires are not very grippy, so it's not as good in the winter as an SUV would be. Speaking of the tires... there is no spare. This scares me a bit, but I'm powering through it, but you know I will be pissed to hell if I blow a tire, and cannot get back... and have to 'call' a phone number. Duh. Poor forethought on that to all automakers who don't care if a deaf person get stranded with a blown tire. Be forewarned, Ford...

Now, how about that engine? The 2.0l works extremely well in combination with the electrical engine. It has more power than you'd expect. It does not drive like anything except a car. It merges well, it passes well... it's extremely pleasant. before this, I drove a Nissan Rogue, with a CVT. The C-Max also has a CVT, and that CVT was excellent... but the C-Max actually is BETTER than the Rogue because it has MORE POWER. It accelerates faster and smoother. It drives like a really nice car. You don't sense you're in anything different.

Now, before I launch into  a spiel about the gas mileage... you'll note this is a splendid review. I really like my C-Max. It was a great great choice. It fits me well. I love driving the thing.

But the gas mileage is no where NEAR the claim. I'm getting around 37.7mpg after almost 3 months of driving it, and 2500 miles. On some trips, you can get around 40... but the average is 37. Why so low?

Ford's claiming "you have to learn how to drive it" to get 47 mpg. Well, no one has to learn how to drive the old Ford Fusion Hybrid to get it's advertised mileage, or the advertised mileage on a Toyota Prius. I'm sorry Ford, but you guys made a spectacular car. I LOVE my C-Max... but it's never, EVER going to average 47mpg to a tank of gas because it can't do it. And if I have to learn how to drive to get that mileage... then where's the training to do so?  MPG should match the "average" driver, not some hypermiling expert on a perfect 3 % negative grade test track.

So there you have it: I love my C-Max. I like the 37mpg I'm getting. But Ford, you lied. It ain't gonna get 47 mpg.

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Best of 2012

In this fabulous edition... I will disclose the best movies of 2012, purely from my own opinions! This is based on the films I have actually seen, so it's possible better films from the year exist: I just haven't seen them at the time of writing.

1. The Avengers
This was the best thing made this year. Yes, it has some plot difficulties, and the science is iffy in spots... Who cares? It is pure, escapist entertainment on the level of the original Star Wars, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and The Matrix. Whedon was the PERFECT choice to pull this together, and the cast works together splendidly. Why didn't they cast Ruffalo as the Hulk in the first place? Show stopper!

2. Lincoln
Really, an amazingly well told story... but it's not really about "Lincoln". It's about the 13th Amendment, and the political process required to get there. Lincoln's just the cog around which the story revolves. All of the acting is stupendous, and it might well be one of the absolutely best movie's that Spielberg has ever put out.

3. Chronicle
I really enjoyed this "found footage" film about 3 teens who stumble upon the unknown, and discover great powers... and how it changes their lives. It really is well done storytelling. Dane DeHaan is a revelation in this movie, looking like a creepier teen version of Leo DiCaprio. Highly Recommended, but not everyone will like this as much as I did.

4. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Now, I know a lot of reviewers savaged this, but this clever retelling of historical events has a few twists for a Civil War geek like myself that I really enjoyed. It does get a bit slow in spots, but otherwise, it does a great job of killing a couple hours. Parts of it made me laugh out loud, and parts made me lean forward in my seat. It's great popcorn fare!

5. The Hobbit
Blasphemy! I know. I ranked "Vampire Hunter" above "the Hobbit", but only because the beginning was so. very. slow. I have extremely high hopes for "The Desolation of Smaug" next year, so the movie suceeded in what in set out to do: set the table. But I am worried about the "stretch marks" that are apparent in this movie. I mean, they're turning a 350 page YA book into 3 movies, and it shows in spots. Otherwise,  its a SPLENDID return to Middle Earth! This was a RIOT in the theater... a group behind us was SHOCKED at the ending, exclaiming "WHAT? That's IT!?!?" as if surprised it would end before the story was over. Really, what freaking rock were those guys stuck under!?!?!

6. The Bourne Legacy
I enjoyed the story telling in this. It wraps itself around the previous trilogy, while injecting new ideas. It veers completely off from the Bourne book series (by Ludlum, and later by Van Lustbader). Jeremy Renner is excellent as the neo-Bourne successor, Aaron Cross. Like "The Hobbit", it ends quite illogically, without a proper crescendo. It reaches the peak slowly, then simply ends in the middle of a chase. It DID leave me wanting more.

7. The Hunger Games
I am a fan of the books, and I was looking forward to this movie. The vision of the movie on screen isn't quite as dark as my imagination painted it, but it is extremely well done and well told. The actors fit the rolls (except Josh Hutcherson, who seems nowhere near as strong as I'd pictured Peeta Mallark, but Jennifer Lawrence is PERFECTLY cast as Katniss Everdeen. I am very much looking forward to the sequels.

8. Haywire
This vehicle for MMA vet Gina Carano is actually a fabulously taut movie. Carano is seriously good in the role of Mallory Kane, and you really have no problem believing this brunette beauty is capable of kicking many, many asses. LOVE the supporting cast, which is almost a who's who of thrillers. Fassbender, Michael Douglas, Bill Paxton, Ewan McGregor, and I've only scratched the surface. Superbly done, except the plot is paint by numbers, and the twists are overtly choreographed.

9. Amazing Spiderman
Now we get into the movies I saw, but don't have a really positive opinion of. Seriously, WHY did this need to be made? The Sam Raimi helmed series is still very fresh in memory, and this just feels like going back to the well a bit too soon. Don't get me wrong, Andrew Garfield is really quite good at this (but I kept waiting for him to talk about suing Mark Zuckerberg...), but Tobey Maguire really owned the roll in the first 2 Spidey movies... so I'm torn on this. Was I entertained? Yep. Was I blown away? No. Am I waiting for more? Nope.

10. The Dark Knight Rises
I really wanted to like this movie. But I was really terribly disappointed in it. It drags SO bad, and Bane is such a supremely disappointing let down as a villain. His dramatic liturgies have no impact because of a dopey mask, and a lispy/breathy voice so terrible, you keep waiting for him to announce he's Bruce Wayne's father. A HUGE let down of an ending to what should have been an epic series.

(just missing the cut: Ted, Prometheus, and the turkey of the year: John Carter).



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This may be early, so I'll start it early and often:


You suck. Just go. Let the damn door hit you in the ass on the way out.

My year started with the CPAP chronicles and illogicality of BCBSM... a very sore hip, which I worked hard to get strengthened, then I broke my leg in April. That's chronicled quite aptly in earlier entries of my blog.

They gave me too many pain killers in the hospital and destroyed my hearing. I missed a month and a half of work. Physical therapy was ended early by BCBSM, then I had a Cochlear Implant (also outlined in detail in my blog) which kicked my ass terribly... so I struggled to get myself together. And I failed. Now I end my year undergoing testing because I'm enormously fat and out of shape because I still can't get around very well due to my leg. Somehow, I have to find a way to get physically active.

My uncle had a heart attack in August, and it's just a miracle he survived. We were all terribly worried for him... but Uncle Chuck is too tough to get knocked down for long.

This week has been enormously shitty. I had to do another sleep test (titrating a cpap... which I bought myself. Screw BCBSM on this.) Then I had to get bloodwork done the next morning at my Dr's office, whom I had to berate into explaining with the hell I was being sent to the hospital for... and advise them that calling a deaf guy on the phone is a meaningless exercise and immensely ignorant.

There's actually more here, but I can't really talk about all of it due to gossip. Alas. This may be my last post for a long while.


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Let me summarize this…

The election is over. Barack Obama will get 4 more years to write his memoir. Whether good or bad, this post isn't so much about the victory, but about the issues... which no election should EVER be about.

Note One: Dear assholes, stop using that word (entitlements). I do not think it means what you think it means.
Social Security and Medicare are NOT entitlements. They're PAID FOR. I've worked now for over 20 years, and the entire time I've work, I've paid taxes for Social Security and Medicare. When it's my time to collect those, I'm not "entitled" to those: I PAID FOR IT.

An entitlement is something you think you're owed and never worked a minute for. I am not entitled to anything except freedom. I paid for SS/Medicare. My Dad did. Your parents did. So please, learn what the heck the word means.

If SS and Medicare aren't there when I need them, then I've been robbed, and should have the right to sue the Federal Government for it. I've already paid hundreds of thousands into these things. I'm OWED these things because I PAID FOR IT.

Does that make sense to you? Either way, you're "entitled" to your opinion. (See how that works?)

Note Two:
Some of you need to own up to a simple fact: you're not against the Democrats. You're against the black Democrat in the highest office of the land.

There is no logical argument for the maintenance of a racist point of view in this world. We are the United States of America, and we have grown up past that childish phase of existence. Please, stop being racist. Stop teaching your children racism. GROW. UP.

If you enter any sort of argument to support your "opinion", you are simply amplifying the reality that YOU are mentally immature and incapable of being a productive member of society.

Note Three:
The White Majority is dead. There is no majority: just US.

I believe a white person SHOULD be able to have pride in themselves, but the form this pride takes is often wrong (KKK, anyone?). I take pride in knowing my ancestors were hard working people from Ireland, and magnificent Cherokee warriors from the plains.

Ignore the "majority" of color. It infects all manners of people, causing them to fragment themselves from the whole for the sake of meaninglessness. Consider the case of the Black Panthers at the polls in 2012... What the hell was the point of that? What did anyone's agenda achieve by having dudes in silly berets at the polls, tying to look strong, but looking like they took too much Metamucil before they got there. There IS a difference between 'I'm "strong and proud" and "I gotta poop real bad!".

Racism is a terrible thing. Get interested in a more interesting and productive group: WE. THE PEOPLE. Of the United States of America.

Let us drop this silly preface of racism, and form a more perfect union.

Note Four:
Now, a more localized opinion.

Matty Moroun...A Moron with U in it.

"Let the people decide" was a $42 million bullshit cry. The people decided, and buried his lies. Now, he's threatening to sue the state until it surrenders. His billions vs the State of Michigan. Cause that's what we decided, right? Was was his $42 millon campaign on "Let the people decide" a smoke screen and lie?

Actions speak louder than words, Matty. You're a defunct obstructionist. WE SPOKE.. and if you sue the state over this stuff, you'll have spoken ever more loudly and clearly that Matty Maroun doesn't give a shit about the entire state of Michigan. How you gonna win then? No matter how many billions of dollars you have, there's still more of US than there is of U.

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iPad Mini vs iPad 2 – Summary

I was once told that some people would prefer to have a large tablet, which would be easier to read. The iPad mini as a diagonal viewing space of 7.9", which is slightly larger than my Google Nexus 7.

The iPad 2 has a 9.7" viewable screen. Then "density" of pixels between the 2 is 132 (ipad 2) vs 163 (ipad Mini). The screen resolution is the same: 1024 x 768.

Due to the size, the mini is LIGHTER, but only by 0.6 lbs.

The mini cost $329 new. The iPad 2 cost $399 new.

Now, they both have the same processor (an A5 processor) and run exactly the same speed. The mini has a slightly better camera resolution, but not terribly so. Both have front and back facing cameras.

You can also order both with just WIFI or with 3G connections. The 3G connection versions are going to cost much more either way. the 3G/Wifi version pricing is a bigger discrepancy, and would tilt towards the iPad mini ($499 vs $529 for the iPad 2) if that is part of your considerations (it would mean he could use a tablet ANYWHERE there's a phone signal, but you also pay monthly rates like an cell phone device).

Essentially, the screen size is easier to read on the iPad 2 than the iPad mini, but the functionality of both is essentially the same. There is no difference is the iOS versions, or what they can do. Apple DOES keep some "goodies" specifically for the mini that are NOT accessible on the iPad 2 (Apple Maps, for one), but these are minor. If screen size and readability are more important, then you'll want to consider the iPad 2.

If having the "goodies" is more important than screen size, then I'm sure anyone would enjoy the iPad mini too.

Just a note that you can have either one "inscribed" by Apple for a small fee as well :)

With either, I would see about getting a nice case for it. I find when the tablet is in a nice case, it will look "new" and inviting well past purchase date. The ones that don't have a case will get scratched and "worn" on the back after a year or so of use. If the case gets worn out, you can always get a new one, and your tablet still looks "perfect".

Now, the monkey wrench in this analysis: If an extra $100 isn't an issue, I would TOTALLY look at the top end iPad, the iPad with Retina Display ($499 for the 16GB Wifi model). This is the "latest" iPad version, is a full 9.5" viewable (same size as the iPad 2), but the screen is MUCH more crisp, featuring 264dpi (just below the average human visual acuity peak of 300dpi). That is the "king" of all tablets right now, closely followed by the recently released Google Nexus 10 (a whole different ball game, but only cost $399 new with 300dpi screen, available Nov 13th).

You can see the basic stats for all models at:

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Dreams with Deep Thought

Just woke up. I wirte this is staggered haze.

I was on a deserted place. We were driving around in a 4x4's. Me, Richard Hammond, 2 friends from HS, my brother, and my cousin.

I drove a Vespa around the Indy 500 race track, but blew it because it started skipping gears, so I lost the race.

Then we ended up in a bar, on teh isle of Man. My brother and one of the HS friends returned from shopping, with lost of polyester jogging suits.

Richard Hammond was theer, and got intoa fight with one of my HS friends, who punched Richard so hard that Mr. Hammond's skull folded up like an accordian.

"Dude, he's musical insturment now. You killed Top Gearm, you bastard. You realize I have to kill you now?"

"Rats" The friend walks up to me. "Is it gonna hurt?"

"Dude, of course it ain't gonna hurt. You're a figment of my imagination. Do figments of imagination feel pain?"

"Only if you want me to."

"Well, okay, just for a split second then."

Then I drove his nose through his brain with the top of my head.

He said "ouch" and dropped comically dead. The curtain went up and the crowd began to applaud.

My eyes opened and I was like "Huh? I wonder... does a person in your dreams feel pain if they get hurt? erm. We'll see.