Returnth to Normal?

Tomorrow, next step on the way back to “normal”. I go back to work…

I’m excited and scared about that. Excited because I’ve sat on my ass for the last 6 weeks. I can’t sit on my ass no more.

I know the meaning of the word “laid up” and I don’t wanna do it again.

I’m a bit scared, to be honest. After being in the house, and not leaving the house on my own… I’m going to drive to work, get out of the car, and scoot my knee walker, crutches, and a back pack full of lunch into the Library and work for as many hours as I can take (maybe 4 to 6 the first day, we’ll see).

I have a bigger appreciation for the travails of what a handicapped person goes through, because at this point, I am really quite handicapped. I still can’t walk. I’m a hoppin’ fool. I’ve been away as long as I can take, and probably as long as work can take. The rough edges are showing and ripping up things.

And you know what? I’m not 100%. No. I’m not even 80%. I’m maybe 65% right now. I’m on one leg and…

no ears.

You read that right. As of now, you can and should consider me to be completely deaf. My latest hearing test results, if they are to be believed, were the worst ever. I’m suffering ringing that may or may not be full blown tinnitus in both ears, but I suspect are hyperacusis based (required sound to ring, which is the opposite of normal tinnitus.)

So, 5/25 I had an appointment with an ENT (Dr. Hoff of MOSA ENT). This Dr. was recommended by my family Dr.

They give me a hearing test… then have me come back, in which I see not the ENT doctor I was supposed to see, but his Physicians Assistant. Who summarily blows me off. At least that’s what it felt like. “Oh, you’re WAY too deaf! Go somewhere else, deaf boy!”

I’m “far too deaf” for them to help me, and they suggest cochlear implants. I have no business wearing hearing aids, they say. And these folks? They do not do cochlear implants.

Thusly, the dumb twinkers give me a PHONE NUMBER TO CALL for an appointment with someone else. Well… that was a total waste of my time, and if you’re ever assigned to MOSA ENT… refuse, cause they probably don’t care much. Pass the buck along, don’t talk to the deaf guy and see if you can do anything, just take one tiny, abbreviated test that was cut short for no reason and say “screw you deaf guy” and send me out the door with a PHONE NUMBER!

Phone numbers are, of course, COMPLETELY WORTHLESS… especially according to their results.

What a fine mess I am. I’m THAT close to being the six Million Dollar man… fake leg. Fake ear. I just need nuclear powered limbs, and I’m all set… Lee Majors got NOTHIN’ on me.

(Addendum on 6/25/2012)
I did a follow up appointment with my audiologist. I’ve dealt with them for years, and they hold the record of my last official hearing test in 2008.

So what were the results, you may ask?

NO CHANGE. There is NO CHANGE in my hearing between now and 2008. None.

Begging your damn pardon, but how is that possible?

Simple: My hearing is so awful, that upon learning of the results of a hearing test, an otherwise logical, perhaps excellent doctor will choose to steer me away from their practice. Why? maybe it’s “too hard”. My audiologist is “not a doctor”, but she surmises that it’s possibly, if not likely, that my recent tinnitus issues can be traced to all the pain drugs I was given in the hospital. Which would mean this issue is directly tied to the broken leg.

<sarcasm>Yay.</sarcasm>

My ears were ringing so bad today, I was throwing up. I’m afraid to find another ENT, because, well shit, maybe they’ll throw me out of their office too. I wish I knew a lawyer, so I could find out if it’s malpractice…

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