End of the Road – Yep…

So this is the end of a medical road embarked on in October… 2 separate doctors, 2 CAT scans, 1 month total spent wondering if I have brain tumors, and 6 months wondering if I can ever really wear my left hearing aid again…

The answer is… No.

There’s just too much damage to my left auditory nerve for any currently accepted methods of medical conveyance to allow me to hear without the accompanying massive tinnitus onslaught. I can hear out of my left ear, it’s just the damage is so severe that it kind of rattles the shocks in my brain till I tip over and throw up.

The plus side: I’ll never have to buy a PAIR of hearing aids again (much cheaper). I also know, for the first time in my life WHY I AM DEAF.

It’s called Nerve Deafness. It’s the first time since I was fit with hearing aids in first grade that someone, ANYONE has said “you have nerve deafness”. I KNOW NOW. I suspected before, but now I’ve got a doctor who’s pretty much “99% sure” it’s nerve deafness. I am no longer a medical enigma. I am now one of tens of thousands of people in the US who suffer from Nerve Deafness.  Sure, it sucks, but at least NOW I KNOW.

I suppose I’ll now sit around with the rest of the folks like me and hope and pray someone tests the stem cells to see if they can repair auditory nerve damage… and I can hope and pray that this happens in my life time, when it matters…

and I can hope and pray that my right ear doesn’t go too, because if it does… then I’m no longer hard of hearing: I’m completely DEAF… where does one go to learn sign language at 37 years old?

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