Freely
Freely once I did admit the world is
tracking me down in a slow death march
I'm sure to lose this fight as always
but now I'm feeling old and mighty
cause my mind isn't fighting against
my hormones and urges so turgid
Freely I do admit this time is precious
and without an ounce of doubt I do declare
I'd rather not be the hidden fear
of the shame your wear hidden from dare
cause my mind is fighting against
my pride and losing wits
Freely I once did flex my muscles and lift
the world on my shoulders smiling so bright
the sun reflects a shadows is cast from my
very own self doubt but still I dared to dream
cause my mind was forming a withered ball of screams
unsounded, unspoken, unknown yet this
Freely now do I admit this is the moment
this is it the one moment in time I realize
I must speak of only my desires
am I living forward or backward
am I ready to commit to being
anything but the child I see in my dreams
My Voice
My voice is broken
and all the style
I once done spake
changed it's mind
when I bake
the stew don't sing
songs the way I think
instead of how I dreamt
Rhyme is broken
reason is smokin
and life is jokin
another round token
the arcade beeps
and the sky full of screech
clickity clack my keyboard seems
kinda dull amid the sleep
My voice don't say
the same things no more
cause the years are ripe
as I wash ashore
finally here I am
an adult spoken
a boy always
Ford C-Max: A Review
Last year, just before Thanksgiving, I ordered a brand spankin new Ford C-Max Hybrid. Fresh outta the gate, it's offering 47 mpg, city AND highway, with 47mpg combined.
I test drove a Chevy Sonic (loved it), a Hyundai Elantra (looks great, interior great, but powered by an anemic hamster with COPD), a Ford Focus (drives great, but cramped inside), and a Ford Fusion (AWE-SOME car)... and Ford C-Max Hybrid.
The C-Max wowed me the most. The promise of gas mileage, an engaging ride, a really nice interior, plenty of room, and what I think are just totally unique looks. The Ford Sync as well. I considered the Sync Touch, but it's not worth the extra $2,000.
So I ordered mine on Nov 19, 2012. I was told 4 weeks to ship, so I should have gotten it just before Christmas... alas, no.
It didn't ship till 2 days after Valentine's Day in 2013. I ordered it in such a combination, no one else had one like me. So it had to be made from scratch, just down the road in Wayne. That's cool. I'm sorry if you don't understand that part, but to me, the idea that this car was built just 10 minutes down I-275 from me is just cool.
Mine's blue. Like really, really blue. The interior is light great and dark grey/not quite black. It is quite fetching, with a strong, yet comfortable fiber. The seats are mushy, but stiff, and possibly a wee bit too short for my long legs, but still quite functional. Every surface I can reach from the driver's seat is soft touch, except a faux chrome over the stereo bits.
Sync has a bit of a "bad" reputation, and I can see where it comes from. It requires you already have some manner of digital comprehension. You know how to use Windows, and an iPod or Android. The concepts are the same. if you understand these things, then Sync makes sense. if you don't, then Sync is intimidating and foreign. That's all. For me, it works perfectly. No real issues. My phone connected lickity split. It understands my voice, and the keys are easy to use, really. They just didn't design it for those without basic digital literacy.
The ride quality is excellent. I prefer it greatly. It's smooth, sharp, and only has a mild roll. The tires are not very grippy, so it's not as good in the winter as an SUV would be. Speaking of the tires... there is no spare. This scares me a bit, but I'm powering through it, but you know I will be pissed to hell if I blow a tire, and cannot get back... and have to 'call' a phone number. Duh. Poor forethought on that to all automakers who don't care if a deaf person get stranded with a blown tire. Be forewarned, Ford...
Now, how about that engine? The 2.0l works extremely well in combination with the electrical engine. It has more power than you'd expect. It does not drive like anything except a car. It merges well, it passes well... it's extremely pleasant. before this, I drove a Nissan Rogue, with a CVT. The C-Max also has a CVT, and that CVT was excellent... but the C-Max actually is BETTER than the Rogue because it has MORE POWER. It accelerates faster and smoother. It drives like a really nice car. You don't sense you're in anything different.
Now, before I launch into a spiel about the gas mileage... you'll note this is a splendid review. I really like my C-Max. It was a great great choice. It fits me well. I love driving the thing.
But the gas mileage is no where NEAR the claim. I'm getting around 37.7mpg after almost 3 months of driving it, and 2500 miles. On some trips, you can get around 40... but the average is 37. Why so low?
Ford's claiming "you have to learn how to drive it" to get 47 mpg. Well, no one has to learn how to drive the old Ford Fusion Hybrid to get it's advertised mileage, or the advertised mileage on a Toyota Prius. I'm sorry Ford, but you guys made a spectacular car. I LOVE my C-Max... but it's never, EVER going to average 47mpg to a tank of gas because it can't do it. And if I have to learn how to drive to get that mileage... then where's the training to do so? MPG should match the "average" driver, not some hypermiling expert on a perfect 3 % negative grade test track.
So there you have it: I love my C-Max. I like the 37mpg I'm getting. But Ford, you lied. It ain't gonna get 47 mpg.
Never Been
Search as you will
you'll never find
another one like me
I'm one of a kind
the only one there
will ever be
stuck inside this
awful state
of stunted reality
meaningless moments
and nothing in between
till the clock strikes
the moments I spent with
you in a past so sweet
it's almost sickly
Never been
never will
there ever be
another time
another rhyme
another crime
it's worth the lies
it's worth the pain
it's worth the rain
pound in the wind
bring on the clouds
blow me down again
blown me down again
it's worth the scrapes
it's worth the bruises
it's worth my ego
it's worth my life
when the sun finally shines
and everything makes sense again
when everyone can see
there's never been
and there never will be
another one like me
another one like you
Somewhere and Somehow
Somewhere and somehow
this all makes sense
not just to you
but even me
even the guy walking
down the street
with his pants ripped to shreds
and his heart hanging on a thread
Blood, sweat and tears
boiling pot of fears
afraid to say anything
the truth never spoken
over a meal well prepared
the giants do stare
down from their perch
high above the Earth
Somewhere and somehow
this all makes sense
even the pain and suffering
say something nice about us all
and the moments in between
shine brighter than the screams
echoing off these walls
driving us all insane
the only way to live
yet another day
from paradise we scream
come join us, my sweet
Somewhere and somehow
all these words avow
Have you ever?
dreamed deeply and tried so meekly
barely scraped the surface and deemed it
a waste of time to speak of mine
not one not two nor all that do
contain the breadth of dreams unbound
when eyes are closed and sleep is sound
words are spake without their taste
and meaning is gullible to lies
from a silver tipped tongue that cries
look at what I want to be
not what I've come to be
judge of only what I dreamt
horribly reached clarity
proof is the damned sound
that escape last from the lips
of the horrid mistake
or the single best thing
confusingly
the most important question
remain unasked if your disposition
does not suggest
a real answer is forthcoming
or a look so bewildering
it begs the question
Have you ever?
dreamed deeply and tried so meekly
barely scraped the surface and deemed it
a waste of time to speak of mine
Geek Lemon Rice Soup with Mushrooms
Ingredients:
4 cups of chicken broth
1/2 lb to 3/4 lb of Diced Chicken Thighs
1/2 tablespoon of Olive Oil
3/4 cup of Minute Rice
3 eggs
1/8 to 1/4 cup of lemon juice (more or less to flavor)
1 teaspoon of salt
1 teaspoon of black pepper
1/4 Cup of Diced Carrots
1/4 Cup of Diced Celery
5 Medium Button Mushrooms, Quartered and Sliced
Use a nice soup pot, place the Olive Oil and Diced Chicken thighs. Cook until the chicken is no longer pink.
Add in the Carrots and Celery. Cook about 3 minutes until Chicken is done and the veggies are tender.
Now, add in the chicken broth and bring that to a boil.
Reduce heat, add rice and mushrooms.
Cover and simmer until Minute Rice is done, about 5 minutes.
While Rice is cooking, in small bowl, beat eggs and lemon juice.
(Note: You can add more lemon juice later if you want more of a tang to the flavor. Start at the low end (4 tablespoons or 1/8 cup )
Stirring constantly, add 1 cup of hot soup stock (use a ladle), a little at a time. Stir mixture into soup in pan. The soup WILL change color, like a chemical reaction as you pour the egg/lemon mixture. Keep the heat on low. DO NOT BOIL THE SOUP at this point (the eggs will curdle).
Season with salt and pepper. Add up to 4 tablespoons or 1/8 cup of lemon juice to your taste).
Continuing odyssey of sensory warp
Before I was implanted with a Cochlear, for me, I asked myself a simple question:
Am I ready to be deaf? Not just sorta deaf, but completely deaf?
And I found myself just stating that it was "get busy hearing, or get busy being deaf".
Not many people really drew a line there, because no one really understood what I could or could not hear. My parents always assumed i heard MUCH more than I did... close friends sometimes had the same issue. Then family would sometimes just talk to my mom and dad about me, because they knew I wouldn't hear them. Alas.
In any case, as I get further and further into this... sensory warp of life, I'm realizing I never was aware how much I may have been missing.
I'll digress here... There's an argument that there is nothing wrong with being deaf. It is not a handicap in any way, shape form or fashion. I'll agree entirely with that. But it doesn't change that there is a whole world of sensory input that isn't fully available to a deaf person. Even a "partially" deaf person. Until you LOSE it... you have no idea how much you really had.
I am still hearing things I do not recognize. It is not even spring yet. You have NO. IDEA... how excited I am about the idea of hearing the birds sing. You have no idea how excited I am about hearing wildlife. I want to walk in the woods, and hear my feet crunching on the dried leaves of spring and summer. I want to hear the water running through the river. I want to hear the leaves brushing in the breeze. I want to hear the "Man eating sparrows" (cicadas).
In the mean time, I heard my cats walking by me last night. Not the "thundering herd" of chasing, but daintly traipsing down the hallway on pergo floors... a clickity clackity sound, which I identified at their nails.
I want to get a clock for my house... just so I can hear it tick.
Sloppy Joes (Healthy!)
INGREDIENTS:
2 cans of Campbell's Healthy Request Tomato Soup
1 lb of 99% Fat Free Ground Turkey (Jennie's or other)
1 small or 1/2 medium onion, diced
1 medium Green or Red Pepper, diced
1/2 to 3/4 cup of diced mushrooms (button mushroom, stem and all)
1 tablespoon of Olive Oil
1 teaspoon of Worcestershire Sauce
1 teaspoon of cumin
Black Pepper and salt to taste (careful with the pepper... it can overpower the mixture)
DIRECTIONS:
In a frying pan, combine the ground turkey and olive oil at medium heat. Add a little salt at this time (it helps cook it better).
Once cooked through (no pink showing), add in the onions, peppers, mushrooms, and spices.
Continue to cook at medium heat until onions are translucent (about 5 minutes)
Now add in the 2 cans of Healthy Request Tomato Soup (no water added).
Continue to heat through until the mixture is simmering (about 3 to 4 minutes). You can let it go a little longer to thicken it.
Serve with fresh pita bread or other health bread.
Slow Cooker Chicken Tortilla Soup
Ingredients
1.5 lbs of deboned chicken thighs or 1.5 lbs of CHicken Breast
1 tablespoon of Paprika (smoked or spicy)
1 tablespoon of Chili seasoning
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 (15 to 20 ounce) jar of fresh salsa
1 (4 oz) can of chopped green chiles
1 medium onion, diced
1 (10 oz) bag of Frozen Corn (or 1 can (15 oz) of corn)
2 tablespoons minced garlic
1 roasted and peeled jalapeno, finely diced
6 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 (14.5-ounce) can fire roasted diced tomatoes
1 (14.5-ounce) can black beans, rinsed and drained
2 teaspoons of Cumin
1 packet of Taco Seasoning
1 can of Black Beans, Rinsed
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Directions
First, diced your chicken up into bite size pieces.
Then, place the chicken in a frying pan and coat with the paprika and chili seasoning.
Fry this until the chicken is nicely browned.
Now, Place chicken, tomatoes, salsa sauce, onion, green chiles, roasted and peeled jalapeni and garlic into a slow cooker.
Pour in chicken broth, and season with taco seasoning, cumin, salt, and pepper. Stir in corn and black beans.
Cover and cook on Low setting for 6 to 8 hours or on High setting for 3 to 4 hours.
Garnish with crushed tortilla chips and sour cream.